Dear Billy: This is an inspiring story. It illustrates a truth that is not often admitted by music critics, who must work with deadlines, and lack the time to explore a record and allow it to grow on them. The records that stay with us are often those that were difficult to take at first, or that seemed to alienate us by not giving us what we expected. We hope that others will take your example, because the kind of patience and sense of adventure you exhibit are not common in an age when music that one has been trained to enjoy is obtainable on demand.

Dear Buddy: There is no room in this band for another devil. If you don't believe me, then consider that we are not famous and rich. Any rock band in league with Lucifer enjoys immense riches, and the allegiance of tens of thousands of fans. Consider that circus devils doesn't even have a single groupie. The truth is, Satan hates us because our music is better than anything he can do.

Dear Jack: Yes we love America. Why, don't you? What's wrong with it? Did it hurt you?

Here is a better question: Do you love Americans?
We must answer no to this question when it applies to two distinct groups of Americans in our midst. The first group is the fundamentalist christian / pro-violence / anti-love set who are proud in their ignorance, and seek the herd for safety. Remember, their vote at the polls is equal to yours, so be cautious before you dismiss them as country kooks. Such Americans can be seen at their feed troughs at the country buffet on a saturday, or at the tractor pull, or worshiping on Sunday morning at one of those mega-churches where they display the flag and preach of a Jesus who promises to make all our American dreams come true.
It may surprise you to learn that the Americans we hate the most have been to college. Yes, the second group of Americans we speak of are members of a secret club called the SONS OF DRACO. These so-called "educated" men are the priveleged sons of certain wealthy families who deem it part of their offspring's pedigree to be a member of this club. They meet in underground grottoes scattered across the country. One of these underground clubhouses is right here in Ohio! Members include almost every famous American who is NOT in show business, except one. Know them by their beady eyes and missing lips.

Because we love America, we must do everything in our power to protect it from both of these groups mentioned above. Both the working class, flag-waving, fundamentalist christian, and the lipless, WASP, ivy league elite must be resisted if our great nation is to survive and retain its soul.

Dear Mr. Phipps: We are stunned by your remarks, and don't know how to respond without our words falling miles short of a true expression of our gratitude and affection. Bless you to the heavens, sir.

Dear Cle: You are half correct. We intended for that sound to be heard as a heartbeat, but not the heartbeat of a human being. The pit fighter's heartbeat is not a proper pulse.
In fact what you're hearing is a drum loop that has been processed with a vocoder. But don't allow this technical information to steal from your imagination.

Dear Baker: We are not interested in you that way. But we can still be friends if that is your wish.

Dear Kirill: We are pleased that you have discovered on your own the truth about circus devils without the need for further enticements from experts and brain-washers. Many people are speaking for Jesus, but not many know what he really likes. Lord knows we need more church leaders like you, who are not ruled by fear. When you finish your studies and become a preacher, don't forget to wear your circus devils t-shirt to church social functions like bowling night and the youth canoe trip. We understand if you don't want to wear the shirt at the pulpit. Even a Led Zeppelin shirt might not be appropriate while you deliver your sermon.

Dear Valerie: High marks for you. Circus devils is singular. Hence, it rules.

The world as we know it is ending all the time. If you want to worry, then worry about all that has already been lost. For all we know, the collected fruits of mankind's imagination are like shining jewels in the crown of our galaxy. Then again, it may be the case that all of humanity's achievements amount to a hill of beans. Whatever the case, as humans we should bear witness to all that has come before as the bounty of mankind's collected imagination, and strive to decorate our souls with it. Rejoice young lady in your youth. Don't waste energy fretting about the approaching end of your life. Observe the following exerpt from the essay entitled "the Library is On Fire" by Steve Five:

Art is ephemeral. Life is ephemeral. Man's feeble attempt to make his mark on history throughout the ages reflects these facts. A prime and literal example of this is the destruction of the library at Alexandria, Egypt in ancient times. Man had spent the ages of his intellectual dawning fighting against the ephemeral nature of art and history, creating cuneiform and whole documented systems of communication - only for these recordings to be lost forever for future generations. Laughable or sad? You decide.

Dear Geronimo: If you want to email circus devils, it's easy. Just write to circusdevils@earthlink.net. But I must warn you, the chances of receiving a mailing address are very slim. What kind of scandalous things are you and your friends doing at Wright Patterson Air Force Base? Could it be sex with aliens? Yes, I mean the kind captured from crashed spacecraft.

We have no quarrel with those who dredge up the past, because we don't wish to repeat the mistakes of history. But why continue to struggle with the lone gunman theory? Even if your aim is to prove the theory wrong, the fact that you still give creedence to it is a sign of a constipated imagination. Forget about Oswald. The men who planned to kill JFK would have made certain that the last connecting dot in the investigation would not land on them. How could it be otherwise? In other words, conspiracy is a given when men commit high crimes and don't wish to be caught. It's a matter of common sense. Anyone who says otherwise is either stupid or afraid.

Now carry on with your important government work interrogating those captured space men. But remember, just because an alien has no rights under the law doesn't give you and your friends the right to make sexual sport of them. Even if you deem it payback for the anal probe the aliens forced you to endure, remember, that was done in the spirit of science. What you are doing is depraved and reflects poorly on our species and our planet.

Dear Heinrich: We believe there is an inner mutant in every one of us. Circus devils music will coax out the inner mutant, but this process is often met with fierce resistance, especially by smug individuals who seek the middle of the road. So don't be surprised or discouraged by the reaction of your friends. Remember Beauty and the Beast? (the story, not the TV show) Circus devils is like the beast. Upon your first encounter, your impulse is to run away, or fight it back. But with time, the beast is discovered to possess a human soul. The trouble is, we can only ask nicely for this crucial period of time needed for people to warm to our music. Things would be different if we could capture people and make them live with our music in the enchanted castle. That task is left to you, Heinrich. Now press on with your crusade, and I guarantee that some of your friends will come around.
One trick you can do is give smokes to your friends before playing our records. If they still think it's the worst music in the world while they are high, then maybe they are right, and we're just addled creeps.